It has been two years since that Mary had that dream of her Aunt with Jesus calling for her. That dream changed her life. So much has happen since then. Mary and Helen has met Elizabeth. Elizabeth was about 40 years older with strong Christian beliefs. Who would of guess that Mary and Helen , a lesbian couple, would enjoy having tea with and talking with someone who had a completely different lifestyle to them. It was recipical. She felt the same as Mary and Helen did. They looked forward to every Sunday afternoon meeting together and enjoying each other company. They would start the afternoon together eating a light snack with some tea. They would joke about what happened to them that week. They also talked about how God was part of their life. Sometimes if something bad happened to one the others would give that person some empathy and encouragement. They could talk about anything and not be afraid of what someone would think.
Mary and Helen went to church every Sunday and participated in many of the activities such as soup kitchen, giving out clothes to the needy and Bible study to name a few. Although they were gay, many people were able to put aside their bias and accept them. Some could not go beyond their bias. These people mainly ignored Helen and Mary.
It was evening. Both were relaxing doing their favorite activities. Mary was knitting and Helen was putting together her puzzle. The room was so quiet that you can hear a caterpillar walk across the room. Mary’s cell phone rang and startled both of them. Mary took the phone out of her purse and answered it with a “Hello”.
She continued talking. “Yes, this is Mary. Helen is here also. Do you want to speak to her also. ” All of a sudden her voice panicked. “Oh no, Is she all right. What happened.” Her voice calmed down and she regained her composure. “Alright we will come right over. Thank you for notifying us.”
Helen looked at Mary confused. “What was that all about?” asked Helen.
Mary responded as she go Helen’s jacket and gave it to her and put on her own jacket, “Elizabeth just had a heart attack and is in the hospital. ”
“We got to go!” said Helen alarmingly.
They left immediately, went into the car and drove to the hospital. They went to the receptionist and asked what room Elizabeth was in . The receptionist told them. They started going into the room when they were stopped.
A nurse was controlling the people going into the room.
“Are you family,” she asked.
Helen responded, “No. We are Helen and Mary. Someone from the hospital called for us to come here.”
“Oh you are the people she is asking for. Go on in. Make sure she remains quiet,” said the nurse authoritatively.
They entered the room. They did the best they could to hold back their emotions. They were used to see a person with lots of energy, so dignified and so alert. Now she was laying down in bed with tubes coming out of her and wires going to an electric panel beeping. Her face looked pail and hair unkempt.
“Hi girls. I’m glad to see you. I need to talk to you. I want both of you know that I don’t have much longer to last in this world and go to a better place. I have updated my will and put both of you as part of it. You made an old lady very happy. There is one more thing. Both of you need to talk. You both have issues that you need to talk about it with each other. I don’t want either to fret,” said Elizabeth.
The nurse came in and said, “We need some privacy. The sheets need to be changed.”
Helen and Mary left and went to the cafeteria. They both stared each other wondering what the other had to say to them. They got their food and sat down at a convenient table.
Both women started to talk small talk to each other like how Elizabeth looked and they both were sad that a normally vigorous woman seems so tired. Both of them could not get it past them what Elizabeth said about each one having something to say about the other. They knew in the past that they could say anything to each other. Why the change.
Helen said to Mary, “What is it that you need to say to me?”
Mary said, “You first.”
Helen said, “I insist you start.”
Mary started. Her face looked like someone was pulling out her fingernails, “Helen. I owe some much to you. You got me off drugs. You healed me from that abuse I received while growing up. If it wasn’t for you, I probably be dead right know.”
Helen interrupted, “Alright already. I already know that I am up for saint of the year. Please get to the point.”
Mary continued, “I know I can draw things out too much. Here it is. My feelings have been changing. I have been looking at women with a child and a husband and feeling envious. My body clock is running out and I have been wanting a child.”
Helen smiled. Mary thought Helen was going to be angry.
Helen responded, “I knew that. You think after all these years you can keep something from me. I’ve learned to read you like a book. I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at babies. My fear is that you might want to adopt a child with me. I’m not ready. Listen to what I need to tell you. I grew up in a Christian family. In church, I used to listen intently those people that ministered to people in the inner city and dreamt that I was one. That was what I wanted to do when I grew up. When I got older and found out that I was a lesbian the dreams ended. My father kicked me out of the house and was ostracized for my sexual preference. Talking to Elizabeth these last few years stirred up my childhood dreams. This is what I wanted to tell you but I was afraid.”
Mary said, Well we know what to do. They got up and hugged one another and went to Elizabeth’s room. They told Elizabeth what happened at the cafeteria. Elizabeth smiled and fell asleep.
Both Mary and Helen went home. Soon after they got home, they received a telephone call.
Mary picked up the phone. “Elizabeth just passed away.” said the voice on they other end of the phone.
“Is there anything we can do?” Mary asked.
“No. Everything is set in motion. The body is being sent to the Randolph funeral home. You can call them when he is ready for viewing. We called the next of kin. He is coming from California.” , said the voice on the phone.
“Thank you,” said Mary.
“Good bye,” said the voice.
“Bye,” said Mary and hung up the phone. She developed a blanked stare. She started crying. Helen knew what said and started crying also. Both were quiet. Only sobbing could be heard. They both hugged each other trying to comfort one another for hours.
The next day they regained their composure. “This doesn’t seem real”, said Helen. “I feel I can go over to her house see her smile and share some tea and cookies.”
Mary said, “I feel the same. It was the highlight of my week to get together.”
The week went by quickly. The wake and the funeral went by quickly. It seemed so final when the son took a shovel of dirt and put the symbolic dirt on the casket. The son still had a close friend in town. That is where they had the get together so people can have final closure. Helen and Mary did not know anyone so they talked politely to a few people and left.
They got home and pour a glass of wine. They talk for a few minutes on the funeral. Helen then said, “I’m giving my notice this week. What do you want to do about the apartment and more important how are you holding up?”
“Four years ago I would have been a complete wreck and could not handle it. You and Elizabeth gave me the necessary tools to continue sanely. Things will be a little tight, but I will be fine. Please don’t worry about me. You have a dream to fulfill, responded Mary.
Helen retorted, “You’ve always been a good friend and I’m going to miss you. ”
They both finished their glass of wine and fell asleep.
The time went by and Helen was ready to leave. They both were quiet. When Helen went for her final trip to the car, they both hugged each other. They both had tears fall down their cheeks.
Mary asked, “What now?”
“I have some relationships to repair. When I was kicked out of the house, the relationship between me and my family was destroyed. I need to repair it,” answered Helen.
“May God be with you,” said Mary. Mary stayed outside and watched Helen drive away. She felt empty but knew this had to happen.
Helen drove the car heading for her childhood home. Inside her had emotions tearing her apart. She left the comfort of her home. Who knows how her parents are going to treat her when she gets there. She knew that this had to be done before she does the work in the city.
She got to the start of the driveway and stopped. She took a deep breath and then drove up the driveway. She got out of the car, walked up the driveway and knocked on the door. Her mother opened the door. She didn’t immediately recognize her daughter and said, “Can I help you?”
Helen responded, “Mom……”
A light went off in her mother’s head. “Helen!” She reached out and hugged Helen. The hug seemed never ending and strong enough to cut out blood circulation. Helen’s mother said, “It is so good to see you after all these years. We need to get your father.”
Helen gave a nervous laugh. “It was my father who kicked me out of the house and told the church what happened so they would would no longer accept me.”
Helen’s mother said, “I know. He was caught off guard. He would never guess that this would happen. After all you went with a boy to the senior prom. There was nothing to prepare us for your confession. We did the best we could with what we knew. All I know is that your Father has not been the same since you left. If was like something inside him disappeared and he has not been complete since then. I think I hear your Father.”
Panic set in to Helen. She had rehearsed everything see wanted to say. She forgot everything.
Her Father opened the door and entered the house. He saw Helen and asked, “Who is this?” He was not expecting to see his daughter after all these years.
“It’s Helen!,” said her Mother.
Helen felt like a little girl and responded, “Yes daddy, it’s me.”
Her father then said rudely, “What do you want? Did your girly friend leave you and you are running back to mommy and daddy. Well we are not here to comfort you for something like this.”
“We decided together to go our own ways. The way I left has been bothering me for a long time and I wanted to settle it, Helen responded.
Helen’s mother asked, “Where are you staying?”
“I was going to check in to a hotel,” said Helen.
“No. You are staying here! We still have your room available. That’s is where you are staying,” said Helen’s mother.
“Alright. I need to get my clothes,” said Helen.
Helen’s father said, “I’ll help.”
Helen looked at her father. She didn’t think that she would get the response like this. They went down and got her clothes out of her car and brought the clothes up to her room.
Helen and her parents that week what they could to heal their relationship. The first part of the week there was a lot of quietness. What was said was tense and polite. As the days continued the laughter began. There was more light talk between them.
Her father during the week asked Helen, “You have always been goal oriented. What your plans.”
Helen responded, “You know me. You’re right. When I was growing up, I heard those speakers talk about their time in the big city helping people. That is what I want to do. I am not looking for a relationship if that is what you are thinking.”
Her father responded “Well kind of. Not really. This past week has been the best week of my life.”
Helen continued to live there. After a while she said to herself, “It’s time for me to go. I am enjoying myself so much. If I continue, I will have too much of a good thing.”
Helen and her parents sat down for breakfast. Mary said, “As much as I want to stay, I need to continue on. I am going to the big city.”
“I knew this was happening soon,” said Helen’s father. He went into the next room and brought out a card and gave it to Helen. He continued, “Here is you point of contact when you get to the big city. I already called him saying you will be coming soon. He’s ready for you.”
Helen looked at her father unbelievable and went to him and said “Thank you daddy. You are the best.”
Helen stayed for a few more days, packed her clothes and took the suitcases to the car.
She went to her parents to tell them goodbye. Without having to say a word they looked at each other. Helen did not have to say a word. All of a sudden there was a lot of hugging and kissing and crying. Helen tore herself away and went to the car.
Helen’s father said, “I want you to not make yourself a stranger. Come back as often as you can.”
Helen responded, “I had the best of time visiting. I’ll be back.”
Helen got into the car and drove off, ready for her next stage of life.
Six years went by. Helen and Mary are fully situated in their new lives.
Mary is now married to a fireman who adores her. They have a 3 year old child and thinking of having another one. They own a nice house on a hill. Looking at them now you see them rolling down the hill and laughing. Her dream has been fulfilled.
Helen is still in the big city. She is enjoying her life though all the good and bad times. It is break time and she is sitting down with a co-worker. She was thinking about the next duty. The co-worker saw Helen and said, “You’re Helen, aren’t you.”
Helen responded with curiosity, “Yes, I am. Why?”
“I have heard so much about you,” said the co-worker. “I heard you re a lesbian.”
Helen said to him, “My life is not about sexuality. My purpose is on the streets.”
The co-worker continued, “I’ve heard people talk about you. You have a certain mythology about you.”
Helen has heard it all before and did not want to her it again. She know it was not her but God working in her life. She responded saying, “Don’t believe everything you hear.”
The co-worker said, “Are you trying to tell me that there was a time you got in the middle of a gang fight. He would have shot you to get at him. The gang tried to shoot another gang member anyways and the gun jammed. He tried to shoot again and the gun still did not go off. He pointed the gun upwards and then the gun shot in the air. There was no explanation for this. There was another time where someone tried to kill you because you were interfering too much. He raised his knife, ready to kill you when he collapsed on his knees sobbing. There was another time you and other people were setting up tables to feed the homeless. They knew there was not enough food to go around, but you did it anyways. Somehow there was food to feed anyways. When the food was gone the people were filled.”
Helen responded, “It’s not me but its God. We are limited but my belief in God increases my limitations.. Are you ready to believe?”
Her co-worker responded saying, “No I’m not. I may in the future.”
The break was over and both went off in the streets ready for whatever happens to them.
Christian Meditations 